Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Greatest of All Time

Oh, to have my laptop right now and be sitting in bed, comfy and warm, typing away on my travails. And to have internet – I haven’t got an internet connection here. I moved to a new place a few weeks ago and am still sans web. So in fact I am writing this at 12:50 am on 3/28/10 and Lord knows when I will be able to post it. Fingers crossed someone will have an unlocked wifi connection and I’ll be able to hop on for a few to put this up…

My travails. Oh, how dramatic. What the heck is eating at me? [Sigh] I just came home from a date. Cool guy. Very relaxed, nice, confident, gentlemanly, serious arms from his hobby, boxing… umm, did I mention his arms? And his hot arms. BOTH OF THEM. I’ll call him Cassius. What’s the dilemma? He’s 26. Come on, people!!!! WTF? I specifically decided a few months back that I’m done with dating younger guys. I set a 5 year rule (and that was being generous! Really I’d like to keep them no more than 3 years younger). Last weekend I was out furniture shopping with a friend and this fella and I met, chatting over the furniture store we’d both been perusing. One thing led to another and I gave him my card – and he texted me from the next furniture store – and subsequently asked me out. Smooth operator and very sure of himself. I really wasn’t thinking too much of his age (or lack thereof), kind of figuring I’d play it by ear and could always tell him on the date that he was too young for me, and that’d be the end of it. But not this guy. Oh, no. Cassius likes older women. He told me the last women he dated were between 40 and 47! All I could think was, Cougars!!! But then I realized that would make me in very least, a Puma. So I tried not to think about it. He was so smooth… until his second beer. After that he had to pee three times within 20 minutes (twice during the movie) and was so darn hand-holding cuddly that he rested his head on my shoulder. Again, I ask you: WTF? These little things managed to pull me out of his arms’ gravitational pull long enough that I remembered my rule again and after the movie I was a bit more reserved and less touchy-feely than before. As he walked me to my car I told him the age thing was a problem, not because there’s anything wrong with the years between us but because we’re in different places in our lives. That’s not the same thing, right? He told me I think too much while THEY wrapped around me and his lips settled in on mine. Oh Lord, give me strength. Remind me of what I really want in this life. And extinguish the fire that just lit up down below… oh my, he’s got a great body -

Hey! You, January! Snap out of it!

I am now left with a very persistent young man whose arms knock me out without lifting a fist at my disposal… The question is, will I dispose of him? Or will I go another round??

[Editor's note: January successfully hopped on to some unsuspecting and unsecured neighbor's wireless signal. Editor takes no responsibility for theft of any kind committed by January while in the course of writing this blog.]

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