I like men to be men. While there is a certain something to be said for non-fugly toenails and unchewed fingertips, leave the mani-pedis to me, fellas. Get yourself outside and work up a sweat chopping wood. Come back in, shower off and come lay those big man paws on me while you plant one on my mouth. Unless you missed my opening sentence above, in which case take your shiny little fingertips and use them to open that door over there. Enjoy your trip back to Metroville while I relax with the Brawny man.
[Editor's Note: When Googling "The Brawny Man," do not search past the third section of images... the further you go, the more suspect the images become. Apparently "brawny" translates to "homosexual weight-lifter" in some Eastern European languages.]