Thursday, May 20, 2010

When Everything You Touch Turns to Mush

I’m having such a moment of mush.

I was just talking on the phone with texting my guy and started doing the old “Hmm… January Chambers. John and January Chambers. January and John.” and a smile spread across my face. I can’t believe I made it 12 days before dwelling on that one [insert slow, wide grin: here].

“My guy” you might ask? Well, what does one call someone who’s more than a friend but less than a boyfriend? Who feels like a boyfriend taking root? One you’ve been friends with for a while but suddenly is more? For now, for me, I’ll refer to him as my guy. I do sort of see him progressing to full boyfriend status and honestly… it tickles me on the inside. I imagine this is what it looks like to have a little glow about you… this subtle inner smile, permeating through and peeking out the outside… I like it. I like him.

John’s been my friend for somewhere around a year and a half. I met him on set and over time we took our friendship offline, hanging out several times at my place or his place or going to see a band. Nothing ever happened between us. I figured that’s just the way it was going to be and wasn’t sweating it. I mean, we were once at his apartment at one in the morning, just the two of us, and he didn’t so much as brush his arm against mine. So I resumed my seat in the friend zone and moved ahead. 12 days ago – or nights, to be specific – John and I were hanging out at my place when the topic of the friend zone came up and he finally kissed me. (Why didn’t I kiss him myself, you may be wondering? People, I’m 37 years old. I like to think I’ve learned a thing or two over time… like, let the guy make the first move, if you want to be sure he’s into you. At least, that’s my theory this year. Ask me again in 11 months.)

Being happy doesn’t lend itself to being snarky, but I hope to hold on to that edge for amusement’s sake. Anyway, it’s only been 12 days. We’ve got plans already on days 14 and 15 so things look good into the teens. And why wouldn’t they? As he pointed out, this is the way people say you should do it. Be friends with someone first. Me, I’ve always known quickly if I was attracted to someone and if he was to me too, things usually happened rather fast… see any number of my previous posts. But this way feels strangely nice. Kissing him didn’t feel shocking. And if he doesn’t reply to my text right away, I’m not worried thinking that perhaps I shouldn’t have texted – I just figure he didn’t get it. Best of all, I know he likes me, actually likes me a lot. He’s already been exposed to enough to know I’m more than just a cute piece of ass ;)

Oh, Mr. Heatmiser. Mush feels pretty nice.

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